Your helper in Singapore says OK but does it differently? Don't ask “understand?” — ask her to repeat it back
Usually it isn't that your helper (maid) doesn't care. Across a language gap, she didn't quite understand and felt shy to say so. What works best: don't ask “understand?” — ask her to say it back in her own words, and correct anything that's off on the spot.
Why this happens
- Language:
- The Ministry of Manpower's (MOM) Chinese-language guide for employers says the main reason employer–helper relationships go wrong is a breakdown in communication.
- In a survey of 670 helpers, the share reporting communication problems with their employers was 58% for helpers from Myanmar, 38% from the Philippines and 25% from Indonesia (HOME, survey from 2013–14).
- Not wanting to say no: in Burmese, Filipino and Indonesian cultures, saying “no” or “I don't understand” directly can feel impolite. Many people say OK first and work it out themselves later (Cultural Atlas: Myanmar, Philippines, Indonesia).
- Speaking too fast: an agency has passed on what helpers say — Singapore employers talk too fast (Best Home, 2026).
So “Understand?” almost always gets you an “OK”.
Way 1: ask her to say it back in her own words
After explaining, ask a different question:
“Can you tell me how you'll do it later?”
- If she gets it right, you can relax.
- If she gets something wrong or leaves it out, fill it in there and then, and ask her to say it again.
- Keep it light: it's not a test, it's the two of you checking you mean the same thing.
In healthcare this is called teach-back: after explaining a medication, the doctor asks the patient to explain it back in their own words. A systematic review of 20 studies found positive results in 19, covering knowledge, taking medicine as prescribed and hospital readmissions (Talevski et al., PLOS ONE, 2020).
Way 2: one thing per sentence
- Say one thing at a time: first what to do, then how. For a newly arrived helper, start with what to explain in her first week.
- Slow down, and avoid words like “that one” or “like this” that only make sense if you're standing there.
- Replace “a bit of salt” or “fry it briefly” with “one teaspoon of salt” and “fry until it changes colour”.
Way 3: give her a way to ask without asking face to face
Asking a question in person can feel like a lot of pressure. You can:
- Say at the end: “If anything isn't clear, you can message me later.”
- When she does ask, thank her for asking first.
Yiru makes this easier
- You write in your language; she sees the house guide in hers, and can see both the original and the translation.
- After reading, she taps “I understand”, or taps “I have a question” and asks you in her own language. You read it in yours, reply in yours, and she sees the reply in her language.
However good the translation, for things that really matter (like giving medicine), it's still worth confirming in person once and asking her to repeat it back.
FAQ
Will she feel tested if I ask her to repeat it?
It depends on how you put it. Try “Can you say it back so I know I explained it clearly?” — the focus is on whether you explained it well, so there's no pressure on her.
Isn't a translation app enough?
Translation fixes not understanding the words; it doesn't fix feeling shy to ask. So on top of translation, ask her to repeat it back, and give her a place where she can ask questions.
Sources
- Ministry of Manpower (MOM): guide for employers hiring a helper (Chinese)
- HOME: mental health survey of Burmese domestic workers (2013–14, 670 respondents)
- Talevski et al.: Teach-back: A systematic review of implementation and impacts, PLOS ONE, 2020
- Cultural Atlas: communication in Burmese, Filipino and Indonesian cultures
All checked in October 2026. Rules and figures may change; official websites take precedence.